When in a committed relationship with a single person, it is common for them to hold hands, hug, put their arm around the other, and maybe kiss if they feel comfortable doing that. To be honest, couples should decide on how physical they will get. Physicality in a relationship is far from uncommon, but it is vital that you respect your partners boundaries. Respect is truly what it boils down to.
It is very important that the two partners sit and converse on such an issue. If you pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, what usually happens? They break, they become upset, they get offensive towards their partner. All of these are unhealthy in a relationship and can be avoided by just respecting each others boundaries. Boundaries are there for a reason, they let the other know where you are comfortable. Do not be afraid to share with your partner your concern and your boundaries, and be sure you listen attentively to your partners. Everyone wants to be heard, but a lot of times no one cares to listen. Take the time, it may save you a lot of pain and baggage in the future. Majority of baggage from a relationship is going too quickly or too far physically when you really didn't want to. Save yourself, and your partner just in case you two split. If it works out and you're married, you've got your whole lives to do things. May be kind of awkward talking/reading about this, but seriously people, save that all for marriage! Dating and engagement periods are meant to get to know that person on a deeper emotional and mental level. Marriage is when the true physical connection should happen. Spend time talking to your partner when in a relationship/dating/engaged. Get to know them as well as possible, see if you could really handle living with them in the future, get an idea of what they are like in every possible scenario, but save yourself's the possible pain and baggage of more than mental and emotional ties. Because somethings, like physical attachment, can never be repaired or forgotten.
RESPECT! It goes a long way. The childish answer of "He doesn't respect me so why should I respect him!" is just that... Childish. A mature person understands that receiving respect requires showing respect to others. So when it comes to setting boundaries, respect is absolutely necessary. Respect your partner, do not push for more than what they are willing to give you. If you show them respect in this category, they will certainly show respect for you in other categories. Too many people look at a relationship as give and take 50% each... I want to live my relationship(s) as more, I'll give 75% and expect 25% in return. Because guess what? When you both expect 25% from your partner, but give each other 75% you will both be pleasantly surprised when you receive 75% instead of 25%. Make sense? I hope so... If not, just understand that when you give more and expect less and your partner does the same, everyone is happy. Happiness, joy, caring, and true love can be so important in a relationship. So when talking about physicality with your partner, respect that boundary, show them, prove to them that you will not cross their boundary. Give them your total focus, and don't push it. Respecting each other leads to big things in a relationship.
So, I suppose you're wondering what my boundaries are. When I look at the spectrum of "decent" to not so decent things... I'd say I will honestly do what my partner wishes to a point. I find no problem in holding hands, because, as the amazing and brilliant Topanga Lawrence said in my favorite show "Boy Meets World"... "Holding hands is like touching souls". So really, such an innocent and simple thing like holding hands can be amazing. I personally see no issue in holding hands, hugging, linked arms... Minor touching is no big deal to me, as long as it is only with your partner and nobody else. Kissing is different, shouldn't be done till both parties are ready. Many people wait to kiss on their wedding day, good for them. Everyone is different, each person has their own standards. So I will respect my eventual partners boundaries and I will not take more than they will give. I respect them, and in turn I believe they'll respect me.
So sit down with them, do it somewhere private it, and try to keep the awkwardness down. Be mature, be respectful. I promise good things will happen. Thank you so much for reading, hope you found this insightful and possibly helpful.
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