Wednesday, June 10, 2015

More Than "Friends"...

This basic idea that is so misconstrued by society, the idea of being in a relationship and dating is something that is important to me. I have very set ideas about being in a relationship and I know that society nowadays differs from my view. Being in a relationship is not just something to do so you can have the “right” to call someone yours. A deeper relationship than friends is a chance to connect with someone on levels that friends just can’t have, you’ll get to learn about that person, you’ll find out what makes them tick, learn what really makes them who they are.

I feel as though people these days miss the main idea of being in a relationship, it seems like all they care about is having that title and having bragging rights of having someone. Why is that such a big deal? That is someone’s heart you’re playing with, and even though you may only care about having the ability to say that you “got someone” they may truly care about the relationship. This is where so many people get hurt, they don’t talk about what they want in the relationship before entering it. Make your ideals known, let that “special” person know what you want/need in a relationship. Enter a relationship with a purpose, not just because you can.

I would also like to share my idea of the purpose of being in a relationship and dating. In my eyes, the main purpose is to get to know someone on a deeper level than friends. Yes, you can get to know someone as friends, you can learn and see if you two connect, but being in a relationship will allow you to see deeper into their heart. It will give you a chance to connect on a deeper, more emotionally intimate level. I personally believe that a relationship or dating is a chance to see and get a feel if that person is the one you’d be willing to spend your life with. Starting out slow, just getting to know each other deeper than friends, then as you two grow together in spirit and your hearts grow intertwined, then you’ll either know if they are “the one” or it wasn’t meant to be. Relationships need to be treated respectfully, they are stepping stone to greater things, don’t enter one because you want to be able to say you got someone, enter one because you truly care about someone. Because you want to see if you two are really compatible.

Relationships are not an easy thing, they take effort, but they can be well worth it if done properly. I have a couple suggestions to help you in your relationships.

1. Start a friendship and just let it grow… This is so important in a relationship, were you two friends first? Ok, yeah there are people who randomly meet each other at a bar or something, but majority of the time I’d suggest getting to know them as a friend before you take another step. Why waste the time in a relationship if you two really don’t connect as friends? Wouldn’t you love to be able to marry your best friend? Sounds like a dream, but it is reality, you can do it. Start as friends, get to know them, when you both feel like taking that next step then do it.

2. Family always comes first… No matter how far you are in a relationship I believe it is vital to have family come first. You two may be boyfriend and girlfriend but when a sister, brother, mom, or dad want to talk, let your “partner” know you got to go for a bit, they should understand this. Family should always be at the top of the list of priorities. To be in a great relationship you really don’t need talk 24/7, yes it is nice but it isn’t necessary. Time with family is however necessary. So don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you are going to go do some family stuff, they should understand. If they don’t, you may want to reevaluate that relationship.

3. Morally focused… This is a tough one to describe. I believe in God, I have a relationship with God. But I know everyone is not like me, but I know everyone has a conscious. Personally I believe to have a strong and powerful relationship it is truly vital to have God as the center piece. Need to be open with each other about your emotions, your feelings, and your faith. If what’s going on doesn’t coincide with what you believe speak up. In a strong Christian relationship you should challenge each other to be stronger Christians. Pray together, read scripture together, do a weekly devotion together. Never lose sight of what is most important in your life.

Relationships aren’t easy, they take effort, but that is why there are two people. Both parties work together, they feed off each other. I have found my best friend, I am working on implementing the last two ideas on this “friendship” so that when we get to enter a relationship we will be able to handle it.

Parent involvement/approval will make the relationship better, knowing that the parents accept it, and are ok with it can take a tremendous strain off of the two people. Don’t enter a relationship till you truly feel ready. Age has no correlation to wisdom, being young shouldn’t stop you from what you really want, an 18 year old may be a lot wiser than people give them credit for. Yes, I understand parents don’t want to see their kids get hurt, but as we grow up we need to learn on our own. How can we learn if we don’t experience things for ourselves?


There it is, my view on relationships/dating. I hope this helps you in your relationships. Hope you have a great day, God bless.

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