Nothing

Nothing is truly something. This blog post will probably be short, and to be honest, may not be that amazing because after all, I'm attempting to write about nothing. But, nothing isn't really in my mind. "What's wrong?" "Nothing..." Is typically (like 99.99% of the time) a lie. There's always some form of pain, always some kind of issue, so really, nothing is usually something. Why do we think we can hide behind this facade of nothing which isn't even there. Something must be the matter, sure you may not know what the issue is now but what's the point of hiding? Really, there is no point... That emotion and pain will come out eventually so why hold it in the box of "nothing".

In a previous post I talked about how making a conscious decision can have a positive influence on how your day plays out. Use the idea of nothing to your advantage for that. When disappointment arises typically the fault is that you expected too much of something. To combat that, I try to expect little to nothing out of situations, sure it sounds kind of sad... But when something great happens and my expectations were so minimal, I have an overwhelming sense of happiness! It's so amazing to see something great happen when you only expected ok things.

Nothing is always something, but nothing will help you make something of every situation. Sorry for such a short post, hopefully I can come up with a better topic next week. Thanks for reading.

Public Displays...

When in a committed relationship with a single person, it is common for them to hold hands, hug, put their arm around the other, and maybe kiss if they feel comfortable doing that. To be honest, couples should decide on how physical they will get. Physicality in a relationship is far from uncommon, but it is vital that you respect your partners boundaries. Respect is truly what it boils down to.

It is very important that the two partners sit and converse on such an issue. If you pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, what usually happens? They break, they become upset, they get offensive towards their partner. All of these are unhealthy in a relationship and can be avoided by just respecting each others boundaries. Boundaries are there for a reason, they let the other know where you are comfortable. Do not be afraid to share with your partner your concern and your boundaries, and be sure you listen attentively to your partners. Everyone wants to be heard, but a lot of times no one cares to listen. Take the time, it may save you a lot of pain and baggage in the future. Majority of baggage from a relationship is going too quickly or too far physically when you really didn't want to. Save yourself, and your partner just in case you two split. If it works out and you're married, you've got your whole lives to do things. May be kind of awkward talking/reading about this, but seriously people, save that all for marriage! Dating and engagement periods are meant to get to know that person on a deeper emotional and mental level. Marriage is when the true physical connection should happen. Spend time talking to your partner when in a relationship/dating/engaged. Get to know them as well as possible, see if you could really handle living with them in the future, get an idea of what they are like in every possible scenario, but save yourself's the possible pain and baggage of more than mental and emotional ties. Because somethings, like physical attachment, can never be repaired or forgotten.

RESPECT! It goes a long way. The childish answer of "He doesn't respect me so why should I respect him!" is just that... Childish. A mature person understands that receiving respect requires showing respect to others. So when it comes to setting boundaries, respect is absolutely necessary. Respect your partner, do not push for more than what they are willing to give you. If you show them respect in this category, they will certainly show respect for you in other categories. Too many people look at a relationship as give and take 50% each... I want to live my relationship(s) as more, I'll give 75% and expect 25% in return. Because guess what? When you both expect 25% from your partner, but give each other 75% you will both be pleasantly surprised when you receive 75% instead of 25%. Make sense? I hope so... If not, just understand that when you give more and expect less and your partner does the same, everyone is happy. Happiness, joy, caring, and true love can be so important in a relationship. So when talking about physicality with your partner, respect that boundary, show them, prove to them that you will not cross their boundary. Give them your total focus, and don't push it. Respecting each other leads to big things in a relationship.

So, I suppose you're wondering what my boundaries are. When I look at the spectrum of "decent" to not so decent things... I'd say I will honestly do what my partner wishes to a point. I find no problem in holding hands, because, as the amazing and brilliant Topanga Lawrence said in my favorite show "Boy Meets World"... "Holding hands is like touching souls". So really, such an innocent and simple thing like holding hands can be amazing. I personally see no issue in holding hands, hugging, linked arms... Minor touching is no big deal to me, as long as it is only with your partner and nobody else. Kissing is different, shouldn't be done till both parties are ready. Many people wait to kiss on their wedding day, good for them. Everyone is different, each person has their own standards. So I will respect my eventual partners boundaries and I will not take more than they will give. I respect them, and in turn I believe they'll respect me.

So sit down with them, do it somewhere private it, and try to keep the awkwardness down. Be mature, be respectful. I promise good things will happen. Thank you so much for reading, hope you found this insightful and possibly helpful.

More Than "Friends"...

This basic idea that is so misconstrued by society, the idea of being in a relationship and dating is something that is important to me. I have very set ideas about being in a relationship and I know that society nowadays differs from my view. Being in a relationship is not just something to do so you can have the “right” to call someone yours. A deeper relationship than friends is a chance to connect with someone on levels that friends just can’t have, you’ll get to learn about that person, you’ll find out what makes them tick, learn what really makes them who they are.

I feel as though people these days miss the main idea of being in a relationship, it seems like all they care about is having that title and having bragging rights of having someone. Why is that such a big deal? That is someone’s heart you’re playing with, and even though you may only care about having the ability to say that you “got someone” they may truly care about the relationship. This is where so many people get hurt, they don’t talk about what they want in the relationship before entering it. Make your ideals known, let that “special” person know what you want/need in a relationship. Enter a relationship with a purpose, not just because you can.

I would also like to share my idea of the purpose of being in a relationship and dating. In my eyes, the main purpose is to get to know someone on a deeper level than friends. Yes, you can get to know someone as friends, you can learn and see if you two connect, but being in a relationship will allow you to see deeper into their heart. It will give you a chance to connect on a deeper, more emotionally intimate level. I personally believe that a relationship or dating is a chance to see and get a feel if that person is the one you’d be willing to spend your life with. Starting out slow, just getting to know each other deeper than friends, then as you two grow together in spirit and your hearts grow intertwined, then you’ll either know if they are “the one” or it wasn’t meant to be. Relationships need to be treated respectfully, they are stepping stone to greater things, don’t enter one because you want to be able to say you got someone, enter one because you truly care about someone. Because you want to see if you two are really compatible.

Relationships are not an easy thing, they take effort, but they can be well worth it if done properly. I have a couple suggestions to help you in your relationships.

1. Start a friendship and just let it grow… This is so important in a relationship, were you two friends first? Ok, yeah there are people who randomly meet each other at a bar or something, but majority of the time I’d suggest getting to know them as a friend before you take another step. Why waste the time in a relationship if you two really don’t connect as friends? Wouldn’t you love to be able to marry your best friend? Sounds like a dream, but it is reality, you can do it. Start as friends, get to know them, when you both feel like taking that next step then do it.

2. Family always comes first… No matter how far you are in a relationship I believe it is vital to have family come first. You two may be boyfriend and girlfriend but when a sister, brother, mom, or dad want to talk, let your “partner” know you got to go for a bit, they should understand this. Family should always be at the top of the list of priorities. To be in a great relationship you really don’t need talk 24/7, yes it is nice but it isn’t necessary. Time with family is however necessary. So don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you are going to go do some family stuff, they should understand. If they don’t, you may want to reevaluate that relationship.

3. Morally focused… This is a tough one to describe. I believe in God, I have a relationship with God. But I know everyone is not like me, but I know everyone has a conscious. Personally I believe to have a strong and powerful relationship it is truly vital to have God as the center piece. Need to be open with each other about your emotions, your feelings, and your faith. If what’s going on doesn’t coincide with what you believe speak up. In a strong Christian relationship you should challenge each other to be stronger Christians. Pray together, read scripture together, do a weekly devotion together. Never lose sight of what is most important in your life.

Relationships aren’t easy, they take effort, but that is why there are two people. Both parties work together, they feed off each other. I have found my best friend, I am working on implementing the last two ideas on this “friendship” so that when we get to enter a relationship we will be able to handle it.

Parent involvement/approval will make the relationship better, knowing that the parents accept it, and are ok with it can take a tremendous strain off of the two people. Don’t enter a relationship till you truly feel ready. Age has no correlation to wisdom, being young shouldn’t stop you from what you really want, an 18 year old may be a lot wiser than people give them credit for. Yes, I understand parents don’t want to see their kids get hurt, but as we grow up we need to learn on our own. How can we learn if we don’t experience things for ourselves?

There it is, my view on relationships/dating. I hope this helps you in your relationships. Hope you have a great day, God bless.

A Single Choice

This may be a fairly short post, sorry for that, but it is something that has really helped me lately, so I hope you enjoy!!

What if a single choice could change your whole day? Would you make that choice? What if by simply saying, I am breathing and moving so I will enjoy my day to its fullest, we could change our view about the whole day? Reality is though, we can say something like that, believe it in our hearts, and we will have a relatively good day. Now sure there are thing which can ultimately ruin your day, but in the grand scheme of things, majority of things that ruin peoples days are so minuscule that they shouldn't really effect the person. I understand that there are other things that cause people to break down but that tends to be a build up of stress and pain from previous events. Had a bad day at work, you begin to not want to go, then you have another bad day and you begin to hate the idea of going to work. Meanwhile, you could be saying, "I don't love my job, but it's a job. I GET to go to work, I Get to earn money." The moment you start saying GET instead of HAVE your attitude will change and you may actually find an enjoyable thing about your job or your school work.

Yes, I know this really isn't that easy of a thing to do, but it is something that can greatly effect you in the long run. You'll no longer feel overwhelmed or stressed out. Who knows, you may begin to enjoy life. We were all put here for a purpose, we all have something inside us that needs to be shared, a story that will be told. I can guarantee you that your purpose is not to find every negative detail in life and live in the pain of having no enjoyment. The meaning of life is to give life a meaning. Life happens, no doubt about it. Things happen that aren't good, and then great things happen. We all have the conscious choice of letting those bad things tear us down to where we miss all the good.

Your view on life can be changed by simple looking at it from a different view. For example, you are running late for work, majority of people would think "aww crap, I'm going to be late for work." well, try thinking, "At least I have a job to go to." Simply changing your view on something that is happening to you at that moment will greatly effect you mode. People will enjoy being around you, they won't be turned off from you. Work to make a decision to view your life from a relaxed state where you can see what good is in it.

Hope you enjoyed this, was something I've been working on and I figured I should share it with you all.