Everyone knows the old saying that patience is a virtue. Then you find out what this word patience means and for some you realize that there is no way on earth that you'll ever be patient, especially in todays world with technology. You have anything you want at your finger tips, and 90% of the time, you can get it that instant. The sad truth of life, that society will someday fail to understand how vital patience is. I've been waiting (lets say dying so I can quote this poem I read).
"I've been dying, dying to finish high school and start college, dying to finish college and start a career, dying to marry and have kids, dying to retire from work, and now, I am dying... and I realized I forgot to live." -Anonymous.
There is nothing wrong with looking forward to things, especially big moments, such as graduating or starting a career or a family. It's never hurt to look forward to something, but don't let that be the only place you look. If you were on a road trip, and you're riding in the back seat, you don't stare out the front window the whole time staring down your destination do you? It's pointless to do that, take in the scenery on the way their, enjoy the moment. You may believe that you need to be in control, sitting in the drivers seat, making sure that you don't crash on your way to your destination. In reality though, you could be chilling in the back seat, sipping coffee and still make it, why? Because there is a God, there is a force, there is fate, there is whatever you believe in driving that car (life). Patience is not sitting there willing it to happen, it isn't staring down your target till you're there. Patience is accepting that it'll take time for it to happen, but also have the will or drive to do what it takes to get there.
Often times people get caught in that notion that patience is just sitting there waiting. Really, how well do you think that works when you sit there, all you can do is think about what it is you're waiting for, then it feels as if time slows down and it takes forever for the day to come when you can have whatever it is you wanted. People don't put a puzzle out then sit and wait for it to be put together, they take the time to put forth the effort to put it together. Puzzles work well with patience, sure you can see the picture you're making, but there is something about putting it all together that makes it feel so rewarding in the end. So as in life, you can visualize what it is you want, but you need to put in the effort and take the time to put it all together. Don't rush things, but don't sit there and will it to happen, you need to make it happen.
Patience and perseverance are often mistaken for each other I believe. Patience sends this aura of waiting quietly and not complaining. Perseverance however says that you are willing to wait, but you are putting in the time and effort to get whatever it is you need. to quote a great song by Villagers, "I waited for something, and something died, so I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived." From their song, Nothing Arrived. This so resembles the common misconception of patience, you should not just sit there and wait, go get it! Nothing good happens when you wait, often times, something bad happens. "Oh, just waiting on this girl to come around" often ends up being that she finds someone else who worked to get her attention.
So there it is, my thoughts on patience. It is important to be patient in the fact of not complaining about not having something at that moment, but I believe you need perseverance more. You need to remember to work for what you want, not just wait for it to happen. Hope you enjoyed.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Friday, April 17, 2015
Measure of Success
For years I believed that success was being doing something that earned the attention of others. Such as doing something that made your parents say "I'm proud of you, good job." Or really hearing that come from anyone. As I've grown up though and moved into higher ranks of competitive sports, I've seen people get so upset about losing that they are near tears even though everyone around is telling them "Great job" "you were impressive out there" "you got it next time." Watching them break down like that has really made me question what the measure of success really is. It must not being the point in which you receive affirmation from others. I know now that the measure of success can only be measured from the inside. Did you reach your goal, did you accomplish the task you set in front of yourself. After thinking about it, I realized that only I can control my success. I don't nor should I ever depend on the acceptance of others to help me feel successful.
So what are your dreams? What is it that you long for that it keeps you up at night. What do you want to do so badly you'd give up just about anything to accomplish it. It can be anything, from getting that 4.0 in high school, to winning a major tournament of some sort. Getting that division one sports scholarship, or doing so well in music you get invited to state competitions. Whatever it is that you have a passion for, what ever it is you long for, remember one thing though, work for it. I've been practicing hard for a few years to become one of the best bowlers out there, I've studied the game, I've worked at the mental game endlessly, and you know what, I've failed to reach any of my goals. After pondering why that might be, I realize why. I've let the standards and pressure from everyone to push me too hard. I've worked with pros who believe I should have won several tournaments by now, people saw me bowl my 300 games and say that I am one of the best youth bowlers in the city if not the state. For too long I've allowed their standards and pressure to get in the way of me reaching my goals, my idea of success. Oddly enough, my idea of success is the same as what they expect out of me, but I don't think of doing it for myself, I worry too much about what they all think of me.
I'm now working towards a mental game of, "this is my goal, these are my plans, and I will execute them to perfection." The key to success is to set a goal, work for that goal, and to beat that goal. If you try and work toward that goal for someone one else, 9 times out of 10 you wont succeed. When you set out to do something, remind yourself that it is your goal that you want to beat, not meet someone else's standards.
I've struggled with this idea of success so much that it drove me to a shallow depth of depression in a way. The day I bowled a 300, one of the most impressive things to do in the bowling world, all I got from people was a "congrats!" and a high five. I received two plaques from the league, and I had to buy my own commemorative ring. I'd built up a hype, I built up this idea that it was such a difficult task to accomplish and that when I did it I'd feel great. Well, I did it, and I felt nothing. Now, after a few months, I still feel nothing. I don't feel like I'm a better bowler, I don't feel better about myself for doing it. It's strange. I thought I'd have this great sense of success, but I just felt like it was another trophy on the wall. I wondered if it was a natural feeling to feel nothing after beating your goals. I did some research and found a very interesting quote by Bubba Watson after winning the Masters a few years back, I believe after his first time. He was asked if this moment was similar to how his dreams were. His response, with tears in his eyes, "I never got this far in my dreams, so I can't say." This quote caught me off guard but I absolutely love it. I take it as, "dream so big that you can't actually imagine accomplishing it." If you have a crazy dream, work for it, and who knows, that dream may become reality and you'll feel successful after it. I am going to try and apply that to myself from now on, and I'd strongly urge you too do so as well. Dream so big that people doubt you, that you don't even know what will happen if you accomplish it. Then work for that dream, and when you accomplish it, you'll find out the true feeling of being accomplished.
So in conclusion, I'll just put what I tried to get it in basic terms. Success should only be measured by you. You and only you get to say whether or not you were successful in your endeavor. Never settle for easy goals, push yourself to do something that seems impossible. (When asked, majority of billionaires say they don't think their as successful as they should have been.) Once you set that goal that seems almost unattainable, work for it. Put in the effort, nothing worthwhile came easy. Everyone has their own Everest to climb, their own goals to reach, work for yours, and help push others to theirs as well. In the end, if you accomplished YOUR goal which seemed impossible, you'll feel so much better about it. So that's it. Success is measured by you, hold yourself to your own standard. Hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment if there's something you'd like to hear for next week.
So what are your dreams? What is it that you long for that it keeps you up at night. What do you want to do so badly you'd give up just about anything to accomplish it. It can be anything, from getting that 4.0 in high school, to winning a major tournament of some sort. Getting that division one sports scholarship, or doing so well in music you get invited to state competitions. Whatever it is that you have a passion for, what ever it is you long for, remember one thing though, work for it. I've been practicing hard for a few years to become one of the best bowlers out there, I've studied the game, I've worked at the mental game endlessly, and you know what, I've failed to reach any of my goals. After pondering why that might be, I realize why. I've let the standards and pressure from everyone to push me too hard. I've worked with pros who believe I should have won several tournaments by now, people saw me bowl my 300 games and say that I am one of the best youth bowlers in the city if not the state. For too long I've allowed their standards and pressure to get in the way of me reaching my goals, my idea of success. Oddly enough, my idea of success is the same as what they expect out of me, but I don't think of doing it for myself, I worry too much about what they all think of me.
I'm now working towards a mental game of, "this is my goal, these are my plans, and I will execute them to perfection." The key to success is to set a goal, work for that goal, and to beat that goal. If you try and work toward that goal for someone one else, 9 times out of 10 you wont succeed. When you set out to do something, remind yourself that it is your goal that you want to beat, not meet someone else's standards.
I've struggled with this idea of success so much that it drove me to a shallow depth of depression in a way. The day I bowled a 300, one of the most impressive things to do in the bowling world, all I got from people was a "congrats!" and a high five. I received two plaques from the league, and I had to buy my own commemorative ring. I'd built up a hype, I built up this idea that it was such a difficult task to accomplish and that when I did it I'd feel great. Well, I did it, and I felt nothing. Now, after a few months, I still feel nothing. I don't feel like I'm a better bowler, I don't feel better about myself for doing it. It's strange. I thought I'd have this great sense of success, but I just felt like it was another trophy on the wall. I wondered if it was a natural feeling to feel nothing after beating your goals. I did some research and found a very interesting quote by Bubba Watson after winning the Masters a few years back, I believe after his first time. He was asked if this moment was similar to how his dreams were. His response, with tears in his eyes, "I never got this far in my dreams, so I can't say." This quote caught me off guard but I absolutely love it. I take it as, "dream so big that you can't actually imagine accomplishing it." If you have a crazy dream, work for it, and who knows, that dream may become reality and you'll feel successful after it. I am going to try and apply that to myself from now on, and I'd strongly urge you too do so as well. Dream so big that people doubt you, that you don't even know what will happen if you accomplish it. Then work for that dream, and when you accomplish it, you'll find out the true feeling of being accomplished.
So in conclusion, I'll just put what I tried to get it in basic terms. Success should only be measured by you. You and only you get to say whether or not you were successful in your endeavor. Never settle for easy goals, push yourself to do something that seems impossible. (When asked, majority of billionaires say they don't think their as successful as they should have been.) Once you set that goal that seems almost unattainable, work for it. Put in the effort, nothing worthwhile came easy. Everyone has their own Everest to climb, their own goals to reach, work for yours, and help push others to theirs as well. In the end, if you accomplished YOUR goal which seemed impossible, you'll feel so much better about it. So that's it. Success is measured by you, hold yourself to your own standard. Hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment if there's something you'd like to hear for next week.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
What is a man really.
I had written and posted this in G+ a while back, but I figured it was good enough to post on here, and I needed to get this blog going so, here it is.
So, a major thing in life for males is the idea of being a real man. To be honest, the events that have taken place lately in my family have driven me to write this post. I am in the midst of making a change in my life, at least I hope to. The definition of a man is something that has always been blurred in my eyes. Most kids look to their fathers as the definition of a man, however I haven't had that luxury. My father certainly has many "manly" qualities, such as his toughness, and capabilities with his hands. However, the true test of a man is with his actions and his words. I will attempt to describe the man that I want to be in this post... Well, here it goes...
I think I am going to set this up as almost bullet points with an explanation... Seems like a fairly simple way to do it so here it goes.
The man I wish to be will be...
· KIND: He will always be kind, "be kind to all, everyone is fighting some type of battle" is a line ever man should hold in his heart. His goal is to make those around him feel welcome and they should never shed a tear because of him.
· LOVING: This is something that is difficult, because it is more than being kind to people, being loving makes everyone around you truly feel welcome. A man who is loving will cherish and hold the relationships he makes until his last breath. A man should be loving to his family, and his love if they aren’t married yet. As well, he should show a loving spirit to all he meets.
· STRONG: Physical strength isn’t the thing, mental, and spiritual strength are the keys to being a man. It doesn’t matter if you bench press 200lbs, if you can’t support your loved one in their time of need you have failed to be a man. Sure being physically strong is great, but when trials and tribulations come your way, a true man will be able to handle the storm.
· WISE: A man should understand how the mind works. Book smarts are not as important as being street smart and being able to handle yourself in difficult situations. The power of the mind is great, and a man can help others when they need it by helping them harness the power of their mind and helping them to power through any issues.
· CLASS: A man will hold himself to the ideals of a higher class. He will do what needs to be done, and he won’t take pride in his accomplishments. He won’t allow himself to be caught up in the things that children do, immaturity can destroy a man’s reputation.
· HUMBLE: As with class, he will not take pride in his accomplishments. He will not boast about himself. If others boast about the things he’s done then so be it, but a man doesn’t honk his own horn.
· HONORABLE: A man’s actions will make him honorable among his friends and family. Though he won’t talk highly of himself, his actions will allow others to.
· DEFENSIVE: A man will be able to defend himself and his family. Whether this means mentally/verbally defend or physically defend, he should have some capabilities to protect what is important to him.
· ORDER: He keeps his life organized, and keeps his house in order. Having a cluttered life creates a cluttered mind which makes it extremely difficult for a man to show his true abilities.
· DOESN’T SETTLE: He doesn’t sit and accept handouts or anything like that, he puts in the effort to make something of himself. Making something of himself is a quality that is not only good to have but also can be very attractive to women. A man will not quit until what he set out to do is done.
· TRUSTWORTHY: His word is his bond. A promise is a promise, and if broken a man’s word is void. No one want’s to be with a liar and being a liar is an extremely unattractive thing to be. A man will hold himself to what he says, and he won’t falter.
· FOCUSED: A man is focused on what he wishes to accomplish. His goals, his aspirations are what he works towards non-stop. He doesn’t quit, and he doesn’t falter when things get hard. He completes what he sets out to do.
· FASIONABLE: I think this characteristic is often times overlooked. Many boys today dress in such a poor way, sagging pants, showing off their underwear, wear muscle shirts. It is fine to dress comfortably in your home, but going out in public in such a manner makes it difficult to make a good first impression. People do judge others on the way they dress. You don’t have to wear a suit, but do dress responsibly and fashionably. My choice is a suit or sport coat, but jeans and a nice t-shirt works just as well if done fashionably. You only get one chance to make a first impression, make it a good one.
· RESPECTFUL: Possibly the most important aspect of a man. If you want the respect of others, you must respect them first. Respect is earned, never given. A man will respect all women, THEY ARE NOT OBJECTS! And a man will confront another male in a respectful way if he sees any guy mistreating a women.
This is a basic outline of the man I want to be. It isn’t easy, but if it weren’t easy it wouldn’t be worth it. Again, this is what I believe a man should be, you’re welcome to disagree, and if there are other qualities feel free to comment.
I think I am going to set this up as almost bullet points with an explanation... Seems like a fairly simple way to do it so here it goes.
The man I wish to be will be...
· KIND: He will always be kind, "be kind to all, everyone is fighting some type of battle" is a line ever man should hold in his heart. His goal is to make those around him feel welcome and they should never shed a tear because of him.
· LOVING: This is something that is difficult, because it is more than being kind to people, being loving makes everyone around you truly feel welcome. A man who is loving will cherish and hold the relationships he makes until his last breath. A man should be loving to his family, and his love if they aren’t married yet. As well, he should show a loving spirit to all he meets.
· STRONG: Physical strength isn’t the thing, mental, and spiritual strength are the keys to being a man. It doesn’t matter if you bench press 200lbs, if you can’t support your loved one in their time of need you have failed to be a man. Sure being physically strong is great, but when trials and tribulations come your way, a true man will be able to handle the storm.
· WISE: A man should understand how the mind works. Book smarts are not as important as being street smart and being able to handle yourself in difficult situations. The power of the mind is great, and a man can help others when they need it by helping them harness the power of their mind and helping them to power through any issues.
· CLASS: A man will hold himself to the ideals of a higher class. He will do what needs to be done, and he won’t take pride in his accomplishments. He won’t allow himself to be caught up in the things that children do, immaturity can destroy a man’s reputation.
· HUMBLE: As with class, he will not take pride in his accomplishments. He will not boast about himself. If others boast about the things he’s done then so be it, but a man doesn’t honk his own horn.
· HONORABLE: A man’s actions will make him honorable among his friends and family. Though he won’t talk highly of himself, his actions will allow others to.
· DEFENSIVE: A man will be able to defend himself and his family. Whether this means mentally/verbally defend or physically defend, he should have some capabilities to protect what is important to him.
· ORDER: He keeps his life organized, and keeps his house in order. Having a cluttered life creates a cluttered mind which makes it extremely difficult for a man to show his true abilities.
· DOESN’T SETTLE: He doesn’t sit and accept handouts or anything like that, he puts in the effort to make something of himself. Making something of himself is a quality that is not only good to have but also can be very attractive to women. A man will not quit until what he set out to do is done.
· TRUSTWORTHY: His word is his bond. A promise is a promise, and if broken a man’s word is void. No one want’s to be with a liar and being a liar is an extremely unattractive thing to be. A man will hold himself to what he says, and he won’t falter.
· FOCUSED: A man is focused on what he wishes to accomplish. His goals, his aspirations are what he works towards non-stop. He doesn’t quit, and he doesn’t falter when things get hard. He completes what he sets out to do.
· FASIONABLE: I think this characteristic is often times overlooked. Many boys today dress in such a poor way, sagging pants, showing off their underwear, wear muscle shirts. It is fine to dress comfortably in your home, but going out in public in such a manner makes it difficult to make a good first impression. People do judge others on the way they dress. You don’t have to wear a suit, but do dress responsibly and fashionably. My choice is a suit or sport coat, but jeans and a nice t-shirt works just as well if done fashionably. You only get one chance to make a first impression, make it a good one.
· RESPECTFUL: Possibly the most important aspect of a man. If you want the respect of others, you must respect them first. Respect is earned, never given. A man will respect all women, THEY ARE NOT OBJECTS! And a man will confront another male in a respectful way if he sees any guy mistreating a women.
This is a basic outline of the man I want to be. It isn’t easy, but if it weren’t easy it wouldn’t be worth it. Again, this is what I believe a man should be, you’re welcome to disagree, and if there are other qualities feel free to comment.
What this blog will be about...
I've been posting some things on my Google + account and I've had a couple people ask about me having a blog post, so I decided I might as well make one. Will be easier I guess posting onto here where a lot more people can read them. I promise I'll try and post weekly, but I shouldn't make that promise since I often forget about it. So, really all this blog will be is my thoughts on simple ideas. I say simple lightly. I will talk about ideas such as success, beauty, manliness, and all that good stuff. If you ever have an idea you want me to talk about, feel free to leave a comment and I'll try to come up with something about it. I look forward to sharing my thoughts on many subjects with whoever decides to read it. So that is the basic plan for this blog, a space for me to share my thoughts. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!
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