A father is meant to be a rock, the firm foundation upon which a family can stand. He should be a light towards God using his actions, but also should have the tongue of God in his mouth. Teaching and sharing the word of the Lord with his family as well as sharing the good news to others. The issue is, that in today’s society, fathers and father figures are lacking in life. So many men have fallen short of the glory of God. So many men are blinded by self-righteousness and they forget the duties they signed up for when giving their lives to God. A father’s first order of business is to show his family the goodness of God. For we are all created in God’s likeness, and though we all fall short of the glory that is God, we all work to be as like him as possible.
Fathers (and mothers) are the first people a new child ever get to know. They are the people who have the most influence upon the child. They are the first people given the opportunity to show Christ to this child. Sadly many fathers and mothers fall short of the glory of God, and forget what scripture has to say. So many people read the Book and live it in their own twisted utopias, very few read what others have to say, then compare that to scripture. Living a Godly life is not easy, so many daily struggles test your patience, but it’s about time father’s start stepping up. Time has sped up, boys seem to be “men” in physical stature earlier than ever, the thing is, too many of these “men” have failed to become scriptural men. It’s my prayer that the light of the Lord be shown to them, so that before they become fathers, they might understand what it means to be a Godly man. Because you must be a Godly man before you can be a Godly husband or father. I will cover Godly men another day, but for now, I wish to focus on the aspect of a Godly father. Over my nearly nineteen years living on earth, I can’t remember having that Godly of a father figure. Sure he took the family to church, he read his little devotional in the morning before starting the day… In reality though, he made me want to push God away. I wanted nothing to do with God if that was what it meant to be a Godly person. So many times, my father would pray before heading out on a road trip, and the first person to cut him off would cause my dad to go into a fit. He loved to say “waste of a life”. That stamped in me for the longest time the wrong picture of a Christian. I had this idea that as long as you prayed, went to church, and read the Bible you were saved. Ignorant old me didn’t like that, I wanted something that I had to put effort into, I wanted to earn. So by the age of the ten I’d read through the Bible a couple times. I wanted to understand it in every way possible. And after reading and reading, I began to understand something that haunts me. I didn’t have a Biblical father. In the long run I’ve come to understand and I’ve come to grips with it. Because I do have THE Biblical father, I have God as my father.
So what does the Bible say about being a biblical father? Well, first of all, I’d like to start with a short and simple verse. To be a father, you must have to have a child… How it works. Well, Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” This is the perfect place to start, a father isn’t supposed to control their child’s life. He’s meant to be the first spiritual guide in their life. A father should guide, and train their child in the way of the Lord and trust that their child will live the way of the Lord. When a father to controls and micromanages a child’s life, they tend to become so upset with their father because when they become of age, when they reach sixteen or eighteen, they will feel called by God to walk their own path. Father’s should not be provoking their children to anger, they need to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). I know your first comment, “They should suck it up since it says Honor your father and mother”, yes, but just before that last passage, verses 1-4 say “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Notice something in the few passages I’ve shared so far, nowhere does it say protect them so that no harm ever comes to them. That’s not found anywhere, because that’s not what God asks of fathers. It does say in Proverbs 14:26 “He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.” A father must fear the Lord, he must show his family kindness and love. He shouldn’t anger them, or provoke them He is supposed to be the light to God, and supply a fortress for the cruelties of the world. A father should guide and teach, not control. He should listen and care, not force his ways. Simply put, a father should love his wife, and his family, as God loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). Did God control them so that they were never hurt by things of the world? No, he guided them, taught them, and when they got hurt, he provided a fortress for them to retreat to.
Forcing something down someone’s throat never works. It’s human nature to fight when being forced. A father can only teach and guide God’s will. For their children are free souls who are lost and searching for a home. A father’s job is to help their child’s soul find a place in God. Controlling will only make it worse. To finish, I’d like to share one more passage that really sums up the point I’m trying to get across, 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” A father sends his child out, encourages them, and charges them. A father does not control, or force them to live his ways, trying to force his ideals upon his child. He should teach and show, but forcing will only hurt the relationship between the father and child, and I have had seen this first hand. I intend to practice teaching and guiding when I become a father, if that be God’s will. I hope I’m able to raise them to be God fearing souls, but I know that I can’t force them, I can only show them the love and grace that God’s shown me by saving my life. Thank you, God bless.
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