Listen closely, it is more than sound.

Sorry for the delay, and sorry for the odd Monday post... I have kind of been lost in school work and bowling. Life just keeps going, and I guess it's my job to try to keep up. Well here's my latest thoughts... Music!

So, I’m relaxing and listening to some music the other day, and come across two songs that I absolutely fall for. So, this post will be talking about both songs… They are both of done by Passenger, and quite honestly may be a few of the most honest and well worded songs I’ve ever really heard. 

In the song “Holes”, he speaks about how people struggle through life and lose things. The same time though, in losing everything, they find something greater than the all the things they lost. They find the idea of strength and courage to be an underdog. “Yeah we got holes, in our hearts, yeah we got holes, in our lives, yeah we got holes, we got holes. But we carry on.” If you’ve never heard this song, I suggest you listen to it. There’s a little language, but overall it’s an amazing song with a great moral. Another line from it that resonates with me, “Let me tell you something, when you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.” The verses talk of two people he’s met, both in horrible situations, but both say what the chorus says, “Yeah we got holes… But we carry on.” This song doesn’t speak, but screams the idea that guess what, no matter how down you get… Life carries on! Isn’t that a wonderful statement? I mean, life is horrible, you may feel down and out. You may be left with holes in your hearts but the truth is everyone around you has holes. A hole from a previous relationship, a hole from parent issues. Anything and everything can cause holes. Look around you, breath, see the people walking around… You’re not alone. I have my fair share of holes. But life carries on. And that is the beauty in life, the fact we as humans carry a similar characteristic, more so than just being, well… Human.

The second song is “Little Lights”. This, to me, can be such a sad and depressing song but at the same time it conveys such a warm feeling. The idea is that we are all born with little lights, which is love, that show us the way to go in our lives. “We’re born with millions, of little lights shinning in the dark, and they show us the way. One lights up, every time we feel love in our hearts, and it dies when it goes away.” It’s such a beautiful song, talking how he’s gone trough life with all these little lights and every time that love dies in him a light goes out. You know, after listening to this song several times over the past few days, I can’t help but fall more in love with this concept. I mean, be honest with yourself, cause I’m going to be honest now… Majority of people have a conscious, a little voice in their head telling them what’s right and wrong. Unfortunately this voice fades the more and more we lie or do wrong, and it’s also silenced from the get go in some people. We all live the same life. Think, we are all born, we are all subject to events that could happen to anyone, and we all live and die. We are all filled with little hearts, unfortunately life happens and these little lights are blown out in a split second when born into broken homes and deep poverty. It’s sad to think about, but it is possible to gain lights, show love and give love. It’s as simple as that. After a dear friend of mine had committed suicide, I had saw this quote that I really like… “Be kinder than necessary, everyone is fighting a battle of some sorts.” What a beautiful thought. To be able to influence someones life for the better by simply being kind and loving. Not to mention it will certainly make you feel better too. I’ve been working on this since that horrible day I received that phone call… Another thing I read was a great story by this one girl. She was out with her boyfriend and he’d wave and smile to everyone they met. She asked him why he does that, he doesn’t know them. His response, “I heard from a few people who had failed in there attempts of suicide, they said if even a stranger had acknowledged them they may not have tried”. Umm… wow. Like, what kind of life do you really want to live, cause I know I want to live a outwardly life that effects the world for the better. Even though I may not receive much in return, the emotional gratification that I helped out is more than enough.

I guess with this post I’m just letting you know, that songs are powerful. Emotions are powerful. Everything happens for a reason and you can always change your thinking on what is happening. Listen to some music, really think about what the author/artist is trying to get across. Critical thinking is a great tool to have in all of life. Just saying…

Ignorance is Blissful for the Ignorant

It’s no secret what technology has allowed, it has opened the flood gates of the people who do not know or understand a topic to post their thoughts and opinions on that matter. At one time, I do believe ignorance is bliss and I believe that it was taught and instilled by parents that if you don’t know or understand something, listen. But in modern day, the progression of getting your voice out there and the ability to hide behind a screen has allowed people who may not be ignorant about something, but simply uninformed to voice their opinions. I’m not saying it’s wrong to let your thoughts on a subject be known, by all means, let the world know what you think, but before you post, think. Think about what you’re saying, think if it even makes sense and especially if it is even right. It’s simple and can save you a lot of embarrassment if someone who actually knows what is going on responds to your post. You’ll be at a loss for words as that persons comments cut yours to the ground. The difference between an uniformed post and a thoughtful informed one is that the later has a leg to stand on. When you use facts instead of just feelings and ideas, you have a stronger hold on the conversation (unfortunately this doesn’t mean you’ll “win” the argument).

I’m not saying this to be mean or to demean anyone. That is not my intentions at all. I simply want to help people understand the importance of understanding a subject before they make a post and make a fool of themselves. Not to classify anyone, but I see this kind of ignorant attitude in todays youth. As a senior who had studied many reports on subjects and built my opinion based off of that, I often found myself being attacked verbally by an eighth grader who had read the title of the article. It was embarrassing, mainly because their tactics didn’t allow me to get in a word. I promise, I’m not writing this to belittle anyone, I’m simply attempting to tell you that it is very important to be informed on a subject before you enter in a conversation/argument about it. 

You know, I’m just going to say it… It frightens me. It frightens me seeing how many people think they know what they are talking about as they post comments on Facebook and Twitter about things. All they seem to do is read the title and create a complex theory based off of that. There are a few parts of that that disturb me, 1) don’t believe everything you read on the internet and 2) 99% of articles seem to be written from a certain view point. You can’t take those for fact when they are written with an opinion. Everyone has opinions, and sadly to completely understand a topic (speaking a political issue or financial issues) you have to read and take in as many articles as possible based off it. Half the time I wonder if these people that comment or respond to my comments in public even read the article or just read the title. The reason this disturbs me though is because that an uninformed, naive, and ignorant society surely can’t survive. “See no (insert issue), speak no (insert issue), hear no (insert issue)” doesn’t make the problem go away! Ignorance is defined as lack of knowledge or information. Naivety is defined as lack of experience, wisdom, and judgment. The issues isn’t the lack of information though, I believe the issues is that so many people to realize that knowledge and understanding, and the reading or listening that has to be done to understand something. When you close your mind, you allow issues that are very real to slip by. Then, it comes and slaps you in the face and you wonder what the heck happened… (Education for me, just squeaked by doing minimal work all though middle and high school, but now I realize the demanding work that is required to do well in College.) 

I love the quote by the one and only Ricky Gervais, “Ignorance is bliss… For the ignorant. For the rest of us it’s a pain in the butt.” (Now, I did make it G rated as Ricky has a mouth, but you get the idea). Being ignorant may be blissful for a time, but understand that people lose respect for you for several reasons. One, because no body likes a know it all, especially when they do not know it all. Two, if you talk like you know it, but what you say shows otherwise, then all that does is make them not enjoy talking to you, if you respond with a close minded “this is the way” answer, they will not want to talk to you. Three, they don’t feel like they can talk to you. When people respond with closed mindedness, my initial response is honestly, “why am I talking still”. Ignorance makes conversation extremely difficult. 

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the whole deal in Texas right now, where a young boy who is muslim showed up to school with a clock he made to show his teachers. 1) It wasn’t show and tell day… 2) It wasn’t actually a clock (it was a clock his father brought home from the Radio Shack he works at and the boy made it so it counted down) 3) The boy took it to school in a briefcase and used wires rather than locks to hold it shut… And so many people read the title, “Muslim boy arrested for bringing clock he made to school.” The teachers weren’t being racist, they were doing their job of protecting other students. They didn’t accuse him of anything, the first teacher asked him to keep it in his locker and not take it out until he headed home, so what’d he do? Took it into the next teacher who said the same thing. So, I’m not saying you’re one of those people, but before posting on something, get the facts first. Yes it’s good and American to have an opinion, but quite honestly, you shouldn’t have an opinion until you’ve read or heard and understand the real facts. Most people think that the news hides facts, and yes I am sure they do, but there’s more news agencies than just CNN News or Fox. Listen to a few talk shows like Glenn Beck and you’ll get news with facts so that your opinion can have a leg to stand on.

I suppose that this post has been a very long and winded way of saying, “Open your eyes, ears, heart, and mind!” (Imagine I’m yelling, unless you don’t like that, then imagine I’m speaking as softly as a butterfly). Society will surely die (not that dramatic but will surely struggle) as ignorance doesn’t allow progression. Listen and learn, obtain knowledge, and live a wonderful life full of interesting thoughts and ideas. Whether you want to accept it or not, the issues of life are there and very real, and they will come up to get you whether you acknowledge their existence or not. Oddly enough, one of the biggest issues I see, is ignorance, and this needs to be fixed. No more 12 year olds acting like they know everything and responding harshly to someone who has actually looked into and studied that subject. It’s hurtful, and it’s going to lead to issues as the people who know something aren’t going to be allowed to talk. So yeah, please, I beg of you, read, take in, and listen. Especially if you are not totally sure on stuff, even then, listen to what they have to say. Sure you win arguments when you don’t let them talk, but you lose companions or friends at the same time. So listen, who knows, they may have an idea you hadn’t thought about. I’m sorry if this is accusatory, I don’t mean it to be, I’m trying to shed light on the fact that ignorance can and will drive society into the ground. So I’m asking you, and I’m doing it too, to look into a story, get the facts, find the reality before creating and basing an opinion on the title of the article. Thanks for reading.

Happy is a yuppie word...

I am convinced, that happy is truly a yuppie word. Now, before you look at me like I’m crazy and I’m trying to be Dr. Seuss, understand this… Yuppie is a word, and it’s a pretty great adjective describing a person (for the fact that it sounds). Yuppie is defined as a well-paid young upper middle-class individual working in the city and living a luxurious lifestyle. So, now that you understand what “yuppie” means, I can begin to make my statement and describe to you why I truly believe that happy is a yuppie word. Although, maybe I will restate that, “happy is a word for the yuppie” makes a little more sense maybe… or not. At least it makes sense to me! And hopefully as I describe this, it might make sense to you too! Or… maybe not. Oh well.

When you think of happy, what’s the first thought that comes to mind? Usually, good memories, times spent with family, or your significant other or what not. That would be the typical answer when asked about happiness, for obvious reasons. Now think about joyous times? That’s a tad bit harder. There is barely a handful of times in my life that I can recall that I felt joy. Joy is an after thought, when you suffer with depression. Oddly enough, when you’re in a hole in life and suffering in the deep darkness of depression… all you want to feel is love and happiness. But honestly, looking back, the root was happiness. Or so I thought. Because I wanted to be happy with friends and family who cared. I wanted my old heart that was wrapped in a cast to be signed by those who cared. I sat their daily, begging for signatures as if I was holding a petition for something unruly, and all I seemed to get were noses stuck up at me. Happiness escaped me, along with joy and love, and all the emotions I once held dear. Being bullied and teased through middle and high school stunk. I’ve grown to believe that happiness isn’t an emotion it is simply a decision on what happened. We created this “emotion” per-say when in reality, happiness is more than likely thought based. A thought that we create about things. 

The creation of an emotion in a mind is easy except you don’t realize that the so called “emotion” is actually a creation. You see, so many people (like myself) have for so long created the perception of happiness that we just believe it to be real. But what if I told you that you can create a happy situation out of nearly everything? Seems crazy, yes, even I’ll admit that… I’m serious though. I honestly believe without a doubt that happiness is not a real emotion but a mental decision. When something happens, if you’re not really sure what you’re feeling, what is your response? I find typically, when something good happens but I’m not sure how I feel, I simply tell myself I feel happy. There’s not much else too it? Oddly enough, I think that because we say “I feel happy” makes it a conscious decision. When you have to make a conscious decision that you’re going to feel happy, that voids it from being an emotion. I’m not talking about when you are asked how you feel, I’m talking about when you sit there and question how you feel.

So, the other day I was talking to a friend (yes, I do have a friend outside my girlfriend) and they were talking about how things were going wrong. Now, I know that feeling, I have had my fair share of issues, but over time I’ve come to the realization that life is simply filled with choices. Now, I know that I’ve talked about this before but I guess I’m just talking about this more and more because I realize how important it is in life to understand this. Every scenario in life presents a decision, you can either take things with a grain of salt and understand that life is a journey and a lesson, or take it harshly and be bitter. Life if about choices, and I’ve begun to think and realize that happiness and sadness aren't so much feelings and emotions as they are about a decision. A very common thing I hear, and yes I’m guilty of this, is saying that “I hate my job” or “I hate… about my job”. I am highly guilty of this as I work a third shift job and it’s torture sometimes not getting much sleep. Well, I’ve come to realize how lucky I am to have a job. Sure I may not be making much, and I’m working odd hours and I find grapes in the diaper aisle or whole potatoes in the freezers and I become frustrated with people, I soon relax and realize how lucky I am to have a job. I somehow convince myself I’m happy to serve and take care of items people leave in the wrong aisles because maybe they can’t afford it anymore. It’s unfortunate they leave it there, but hey, gives me something to do and humors me sometimes (I found a large watermelon on the top shelf of the chips… like, how??) Anyways, life is based off of decisions that we have in life, we always make decisions, and so often times we as humans make the easy decision about our feelings on something. If it’s good, we are happy! If it’s bad, we are sad. Yes, simplistic, but lets try this, to make life a little more enjoyable, and I’m working on this too, when life hits a bumpy patch, somehow find happiness. Find a reason to be happy. 

You know… I have come to the conclusion as well that there are rainbows everywhere. Whether or not a storm came through, there’s a rainbow. The thing is, rainbows are simply water particles being reflected, so who’s to say that we are just not at the right angle to see a rainbow? I truly think there are rainbows everywhere, and if you fail to see one, try changing your perspective.

I’m putting this out there as a helpful tool for everyone. If you don’t agree that happiness is a conscious choice, great, believe what you believe. But, I do think it’s about a decision more so than a feeling. I believe it, and I’m working to change the way I perceive life. If I’m to be quite honest, my life has taken a drastic turn to the positive since I’ve been seeing things through rose tinted glasses. Yes, I still feel like a lot of times life is bad, but, the good times are a lot better now. So, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed.

Trying to Make Aretha Franklin Proud.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T! (sorry, I couldn't help myself...)

Respect. The universal language of “you matter to me”, or “you mean something to me”, or really, “you’re another person and I care”… If you think this is false, then think again. It seems like 99% of relationships (strong lasting ones) are built out of respect for each other. When you look at a person, and say “I value your opinion”. Yes you may think they’re wrong on somethings, but you value their opinion which means you value them. Make sense? Too often today, with the rise of social media, people share their opinions and just get lambasted in the comments for what they have to say. We have no respect for each other face to face because we’ve grown up with no respect for the person on the other side of social media. We view our opinions and our ideals as holy word, and any other person who doesn’t fit this is will be scrutinized or treated with no respect. 

I’ve seen it all too many times. Siblings torn apart because a lack of respect for each others social life’s. Married or dating couples losing respect for each other which entails a falling out due to lack of trust as well. If you can’t respect a person and their decisions, how can you trust them. See, when you don’t have respect for someone you love (family member or significant other) then you try to control their lives because you think you know what’s best for them. Well, it’s time to sit down and think. Who knows what is best for someone? That person. You can’t control them because it’s their life and their choices, not yours. Yeah, you may not agree with them, or you think they’re crazy for it, but instead of bashing them and making them feel horrible for it… Try respecting them. Because burning bridges by disrespecting is the worst way to lose people who are close to you. When you disrespect someone, and that bridge is burned, that leaves a very sour taste in the persons mouth. The likelihood of them wanting anything to do with you is slim to none. 

See, this isn’t holding a grudge though. When you are disrespected, it’s more a psychological response that happens than an emotional one. Being disrespected hurts more and causes many people to close their walls. Kind of like me. Majority of my life it seems, at least through middle school and high school, I had things to say that I thought were important. Well, my “friends” would shut me up or ignore me. Very few if any really listened to me. So you know what? I learned to be quiet since it seemed like no one cared or respected my thoughts. Now that I’ve started this blog, and I’ve opened up more to my girlfriend, she and a few others, and they all seem to enjoy what I have to say to some extent I think. I really appreciate it, and it really helps my confidence when I hear people comment on how good my writing is. Similarly, when you show respect and kindness to someone, you boost their confidence and help them accomplish more.

Respect does go two ways, and sadly, the term “if you want respect you have to give respect” really doesn’t work out sometimes. You can give all the respect you can for someone and they’ll still look down on you. You have to earn it as well as give it. 

Respect goes a long way. So really, even if you don't agree with their choice, tell them in a respectful manner. If they still don't agree, then accept that they're making a decision based off of THEIR life anyways. Respect is useful and helpful in so many ways... Thanks for reading. Sorry this post is rather short, just started classes, looking forward to using what I learn in my Sociology class to help create some great posts!

4am thoughts...

So the other night I fell asleep at a reasonable hour, approximately 11:50, well, I woke up at 12:35 in the morning. Well, needless to say, as you can tell in the title, I didn't fall asleep for a while. I finally did around 6:30. Anyways, I spent all night either reading, surfing the web, listening to mental music, studying some more psychology... Then around 4 am I opened up the pages app on my Mac, and just started typing. To be honest, it was one of those out of mind, out of body experiences. I just typed. If it came to mind it wen on the page. So here it is... My thoughts at 4 am...

Everybody wants something. One common theme in everyone’s meme is that we all want love, knowledge, power, and to be right. It’s natural for people to want one of those three, but more often than not, they want all of them. What is it about these four “basic” concepts that every person strives for. Yes there are other principals outside of these four that many people want, like money, profitability, to be famous… Breaking it all down though, everything you could want or dream of, can be broken down until it fits into one of the four.

LOVE: everybody wants to be loved, but so many people are scared to love. It’s the sad truth that there are people/couples where love only seems to go one way. How unfortunate that would be, to date or marry someone who you thought was your significant other to realize that they don’t feel nor will the respond to you with love. Anyways, this idea of love, what’s so great about it? Everyone just wants it, everybody who does’t already have it that is. Love is the quintessential antidote to loneliness. We have this preconceived idea that if we are loved we will no longer feel lonely. The sad truth is that, no matter how much love you feel, there will always be a sense of loneliness. If you don’t return that love, that person isn’t going to keep giving it. You’ll find out very quickly that people are quite fickle. We do have things we hang on to, but if it’s not beneficial, then we will leave it. So really, everyone wants to be loved. It’s one of the four things that made my list. It’s such a basic idea, but it’s complex in reality. Love hurts, love is doing something you hate for someone. Love is sticking through every challenge with someone. If they won’t go through difficulties and come out saying they love you, then sadly they aren’t the one. On the flip side, if they face the trials and difficulties of life with you, and you both come out of it saying how much you love each other and how much you both grew as a result, then it’s possible that they are a keeper. Love is a two way street, you can’t take and not give. If you just take, you’re not going to be getting much in return. I like this idea, it’s simple in theory but difficult in practice… Give 75% and expect 25%. Give more and expect less. If your significant other or your best friend and you both employ this idea in your lives, then you’ll both be so happy when you receive more than you were expecting, and you’ll feel great about giving more than they expected. Joy levels and happiness in that relationship will rise.

KNOWLEDGE: this one is a tough one. I know people who have this overwhelming thirst for knowledge. They want to know everything they can in their lifetime, and all I have to say to them is… “good luck.” See, I’ve grown up with the world at my fingertips. If I’m curious about something I can type it in on google and it’ll give me an answer. This process of receiving instead of searching has caused my generation to not have the interest in retaining information. Why fill your brain with amazing information when you can pull it up easy at any moment? Oh, I don’t know, because being knowledgeable is an amazing thing. How great is it to know and understand how the world works. I sometimes envy these people that have this insane thirst for knowledge. My girlfriend is one of them… You know what I realized though? Everyone has a thirst of knowledge, just have to find the key to unlock it. My dream is to hold quizzical and deeply informational conversations with her someday as my wife. You know what I’ve finally realized though? After being forced to read and deal with something I hated for years, I’ve come to realize that reading is the life blood of knowledge. It is the quickest way to obtain knowledge about things less known. Back as a Junior, my english teacher said something that was funny at the time, but now I’ve come to realize the shear importance of it. A student asked him, jokingly of course, “do we have to read the book or can I watch the movie?” For me this seemed like a fair question, I hated reading at the time. I despised the simple idea of having to pick up a book. His response was humorous, but it took years to really set in… “Sure, absorb someone else’s imagination instead of using your own.” Finally, after years, the profundity of that simple sentence broke me. I realize after hearing about the astounding personal libraries of the worlds greatest CEO’s and other influential people on today’s society. I have come to grips that, I too have this thirst for knowledge, and simply put, the answer to that is reading. I prefer biography sorts. Learning from the lives of the greatest humans I know. If you want knowledge, you don’t have to fry your brain studying, just start reading. My proudest achievement will someday have custom bookshelves made and filled in my house. I guess my goal is to be as eclectic or cultured as possible. I hope to someday be such an avid reader I can just devour books. 

POWER: everybody wants to be powerful. You may be sitting there saying, nah, I’m ok where I’m at in the passengers seat, but let’s be real. Pretty much everyone likes to be in charge of something. No matter what, there is always that one area in your life that you can’t give up control. You believe that every other person is inferior and that only you know what you’re doing. For me, that’s finances and bowling. It’s a simple theory really, except for the greats like Jim Cramer, Josh Brown, and really the highly acclaimed professionals in the business, I think that everyone else doesn’t have a clue what they are doing. It pains me to sit there and listen to someone who doesn’t get it, and it’s even worse when they don’t let me talk. I like the idea of being in control and being powerful in this regard. Not always does wanting power mean that you know what’s best. Sometimes, you just want power. You’re sick of being pushed around. You’re tired of everyone treating you like crap. You want to move out and be the real owner of your life. So, I mean really, everybody wants power. Everybody wants to be listen to and respected mainly, but you can always work it back to the simple idea of having power.

TO BE RIGHT: who likes being wrong? No one… There’s moments that you may wish you’re wrong when you’re making a guess about a particular situation, but when you find out you’re right your ego grows just that tiny bit. Got a hundred percent on a test? Ego grows. It’s a simple equation, it seems like everyone is full of themselves in some way. Even though I may say I hate being right, I hate being wrong even more. It’s important to realize that being wrong happens, making mistakes happen. It’s part of being human. I’m not some alien, I’m going to be wrong. I don’t have the expanses of human knowledge preloaded in my brain, I’m going to make mistakes. I’m emotional, I’ve got a faulty mind. It’s human error. Everyone surfers from it. Being wrong makes you human. I really hate being wrong about stuff, and I’m sure there is plenty of the population out there with me. I’m working on understanding I can’t always be right, as much as I want to be, it’s just not human!

So yeah, everybody wants at least one of these… Many people want all of them I’m sure (guilty is charged). There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you remember what is important in life. Sharing a special love between you and one person (doesn't mean you can't love more people, but there has to be one special love in your life)… Gain knowledge but don’t forget who you are… Being strong and powerful, but ruling with a caring nature and do good with that power… You’ll be right sometimes, you’ll be wrong sometimes, it’s all a part of being human… Most of all, live life to its fullest, don’t waste it away on things not of value to you, but don’t undermine it as it may be of value to someone else. We are here for a reason, find your own reason. You were custom made, and your life is designed specifically with you in mind. Your friends and loves are different, but they are there to help you. So yeah, there are my 4 am thoughts from August 25th. I hope you enjoyed… I just wish I knew how to get some sleep!

Anxiety...

Hello readers. This post is kind of a difficult thing for me to let out. For several years I’ve struggled with something that I don’t often share just because of how society responds to it. I have very high anxiety issues. Now, I’ve kind of grown a distaste when I hear people talk about their anxiety issues… So I thought I’d kind of write this and explain what anxiety is, what anxiety attacks feel like, and how you can help someone who’s in an anxiety attack…

So, what is anxiety. Often times, due to misuse by so many, anxiety has been the replacement word for fear. This is extremely unfortunate because so many people now say they have anxiety issues/disorder, when in reality they are just fearful of a thing, they have a phobia of it. Anxiety is a little more difficult than a fear. Fear, gives you butterflies, puts a lump in your throat, gives you cold sweat… Anxiety puts you in the fetal position, ties your intestines in knots, makes you burning hot then freezing cold, basically makes you question if you are still alive. It’s kind of sad when I talk to people and they tell me how bad their anxieties are, and I ask them to explain what’s going on and they basically tell me a fear about something and they don’t know what to do. Meanwhile, I sit there, thinking they are feeling like death due to anxiety. I understand  anxiety comes in different forms and different levels, but the general consensus is the same, fear is nearly all mental with little physical, while anxiety is the mind causing the body to malfunction. It’s a scary thing going through an anxiety attack, and isn’t easy, and it’s very sad to watch someone helplessly lay there in so much pain and you can’t do anything. Just ask my girlfriend, she’s never seen first hand an anxiety attack, but she’s heard it over the phone…

I’m sure you’re wondering what an anxiety attack feels like. Well, everyone experiences it differently but the outcome is the same. I like to describe it as this. You’re walking along, with a friend, and you run into a wall. Your friend however keeps going, you lean your head against the wall, begging for help. All your friend says is “come on, there is no wall, you just think there is a wall. Get over here or I’m leaving.” Well, there is a wall for the person with anxiety, and sadly, it really can come out of nowhere. You stand there, and then drop to your knees. Unable to move. You’re body starts shaking, you begin to hyperventilate. Your heart makes an attempt to beat out of your chest, or it decides to skip a beat, either way you feel like your heart is dying. You curl into a ball, crying, unable to move past this wall that is apparently not there for anyone else. Seeing that, feeling alone, makes it worse. The anxiety about facing people turns worse as you start to think you’re some kind of freak and no one will talk to you. You really do feel like you’re left for dead.

You feel like you’re dying and you’re not going to make it, that is, unless someone stays with you. It’s quite simple. If you are having an anxiety attack, having someone support you and stay with you helps. And really, if someone with anxiety asks you to do something for them in public, like ordering food even, just do it. Don’t question them, just do it. Answer the same question no matter how many times they ask you it. Being loving towards someone with anxiety does wonders, you try to help them face it. Anxiety isn’t a fear, fear can be overcome by facing it, but anxiety requires a rewiring of the brain. Don't try to get them to face it, just do it with them or do it for them. It may be stupid to you, but it does wonders for the person dying of anxiety. 

Hope this cleared the air a little and I hope this gave you some form of insight into the idea of anxiety. I didn’t try to explain what triggers it, because I really don’t know what does. Like I said, it just happens. Sometimes there’s a triggers, sometimes our minds are a ticking time bomb. We over think, and increase our anxiety because we are so fearful of outcomes from making the wrong decision. Just be there with them, or do it for them. Don’t push them to do it… Please. That just increases the anxiety because now they’re worrying about failing and disappointing you.

Driven to Live Fully

What drives you? What do you enjoy about life? What makes you want to be the best that you can be? Everyone struggles through life, and I aways liked the saying, “Life’s a beautiful struggle, forget the struggle and find the beauty.” But, each and every person has a different standard of beauty, and each and every person struggles through their own issues. Maybe you’re like me, you battle demons of the mind. You fight your inhibitions, fears, doubts, and anxieties. The challenge in life for me is to push through the pain and fear of failing and try. Basically, in this post I’ll talk about some common things I’m trying to follow to live a happier and more satisfying life… I hope you enjoy.

Everything in life is meant to challenge you and make you strive to be better. If you go into a scenario or a part of life with the assumption you’re going to learn something from it, 9 times out of 10 you’ll learn something. Everything that happens in life is a lesson, teaching us for the next time that scenario will come around, or teaching us ways to deal with other problems that may arise. The first step in enjoying and taking over your life is to start understanding the theory that everything in life is a test and you can take a lesson out of it. This is one part of life that I definitely feel like I’ve come to grasps with. Everything happens for a reason and typically that reason is to teach you a lesson of some sort. I like the idea my golf coach told me at one time. “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” If you think you can take a lesson out of something, you will. It’s all about the mind and how you perceive every scenario in life.

The other thing that you can do in life, is take every difficulty and use it to your advantage. Take the difficulty in step, and enjoy it. In theatre, they often say to actors, “use the disadvantage.” It comes from the little story of an actor during rehearsal, he says to his director he can’t get on stage because there is a chair in his way. The director responds, “Use the difficulty. If it’s a drama, pick it up and smash it on the ground. If it’s a comedy, fall over it.” I read this statement and kind of fallen in love with it. I haven’t done plays in quite a few years, and even when I was I never heard this… But now that I have, I love it. Everyone has a disadvantage/difficulty, use it. Every scenario has a difficulty, so whatever you’re in, treat that difficult with the type of play you want to live. If you love humor, treat that difficulty with humor until you’re past it. If you’ve got some type of mental illness, like anxiety, use it to express tremendous amounts of love by always making an effort to talk to them because your anxiety makes it difficult for you when you’re not talking. (I’m in that category for sure.) No matter what difficulty you face, there is always a way around it, or a way to enjoy it.

So there are a few ways that I specifically have been working on doing. I hope you found these helpful in your life. Life is a lesson, enjoy it, all of it.